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| Suzanne |
Last week Monday I left for Lebanon, thankful to GOD for his provision in making it possible for me to return. I had a wonderful Sabbath filled with an amazing time with my “family” here. I played for two hours with some girls at the university campus, and had quality time talking with and getting to know my new housemate, Sorina.
This Monday the unthinkable happened. It started out as a normal day, I made apple sauce, had breakfast, and wrote some emails all before 9:30 when work started. I was given my assignments for the day, and went around with Sorina looking for replacement cords for the TV’s in the classroom, and other odds and ends that needed to be bought in preparation for the school year starting next Monday. Around 12 p.m. we had lunch. Alexis, my boss, had to leave for some meetings. When lunch was over we all went back to work. I was laminating some materials for class when I saw that Alexis had sent me a text message saying, “Please have everyone pray. She stopped breathing on her own.” To explain this message let me explain who the “she” is and what circumstances preceded this text.
The “she” in the text was Suzanne, our academic coordinator, who I call my second boss. Over the past few months she has been facing major medical problems. In the last two months her health had continued to decline and she was able to do less and less at the Center. A few weeks before I left for Lebanon she had an MRI done which showed that she had a tumor that had the possibility of being cancerous. Surgery was scheduled for the fourth of September to remove the tumor. I arrived on the second and spent the night at Suzanne’s house as it was the last day she would be home till her surgery. That morning when I said goodbye to her, she told me that she had woken up with the song “Abide With Me” in her mind.
The next day she was in Surgery for 7 hours, and on Friday I went to visit her in the hospital with Alexis. It was a special time spent with Suzanne. When we got there she was sleeping in a chair (since it was more comfortable for her), but shortly after we got there she woke up and we had an enjoyable time. Suzanne requested that I sing the song “Abide With Me” with her. We sang it and she emphasized the last stanza that says...
“I fear no foe, with Thee at hand to bless;
Ills have no weight, and tears no bitterness;
Where is death’s sting? Where, grave, thy victory?
I triumph still, if Thou abide with me.”
Then she had me read John 14. When I got to verse 13 and 14 she had me read it twice repeating them with me. It was a beautiful evening, one that I will cherish for many years to come.
Sabbath came and went as one of the happiest Sabbaths I have had in a very long time (not to say that Sabbath is not usually happy, but there was something extra special about this Sabbath). Sunday was spent visiting three families, shopping, and doing other odds and ends in preparation for the work week.
When the text came, I started to gather everyone in the center to pray for Suzanne who was briefly unable to breath on her own (Or so I thought)... I had just gotten most people together when someone came to bring some papers that had been ordered, and I had to call Alexis to find out how I was to pay for the papers. The first thing I said after she told me what to do was that we were just about to pray for Suzanne... then a shiver ran down my body as Alexis said... “Tami, there is something new for you to pray about...actually, Suzanne just died... they stopped trying to resuscitate her about three minutes ago...”
Dead?... surely not! The one who had been singing with me just on Friday? The one Alexis had been with much of the evening last night...? It is pretty hard to actually believe that one who has been such a solid part of the Center is no longer here. Who will fill her place? Who can teach with such power like she did? Who will give me advice on how to deal with a specific student’s issues? These questions and many other questions ran through the minds of all present, after I told them what Alexis had said. We prayed for a miracle, we also asked that GOD would help us have the strength to leave the outcome in HIS hands. There was not a dry eye in the room. All present couldn’t imagine Suzanne not continuing to be a part of the work she helped to start.
A few hours later I was in a taxi with a friend going to the hospital to see Suzanne...one more time. As we entered the hospital room where she lay, tears stung my eyes as I looked at her face... there was a beautiful smile on her face and even though her eyes were closed I could imagine that they were shining with the radiance of the smile I saw playing on her lips. It was probably the most beautiful thing I could have seen. Her whole face showed a happiness that could only come from being at peace with herself and with GOD. It makes me wonder what she saw, felt, or heard during those last wakeful moments before she slipped into a peaceful sleep awaiting the glory that she would see when next she opened her eyes at the second coming of JESUS.
It is still very hard to actually realize that Suzanne is really not going to face this next year with us. Many are still in denial of the fact that she is actually dead. But after seeing the peace and joy in her face, I am soooo happy for her. Yes I am sad that I will not see my dear friend for some time, yet I have the confidence and hope that I will see her again...not in her diseased, and pain-filled body, but with a health that she has never experienced before and a radiance of joy even more than what I saw on her face just a few hours ago.
Please keep her family and us in your prayers.
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| Me, Alexis, and Suzanne watching the sunset from one of our favorite spots. |
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